Marriage Preparation
at the Shrine of St. Jude Catholic Church
12701 Veirs Mill Road, Rockville, Maryland 20853
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! We at St. Jude’s want to help you through these pressures of preparation in a way that will best meet your needs. You may have questions even after reading this brochure. These can be answered by Father Paul D. Lee, Pastor, or two other parochial vicars, when you meet him for the initial interview.
HOW DO WE BEGIN?
The first step is to contact the parish office at the Shrine of St. Jude. Ph: (301) 946-8200, or email : [email protected]. Then you will be contacted by the pastor, or one of the other two priests or deacons, to meet for an initial interview. This initial contact must take place at least six months prior to the expected date of marriage.
THE MAIN ELEMENTS OF MARRIAGE PREPARATION
1. PERSONAL MEETINGS will be scheduled with the priest/deacon who will be witnessing your wedding. If you are not getting married at St. Jude’s or by a clergy of St. Jude’s, it will still be necessary to meet with one of them to take care of the pre-marriage documentation and permissions.
2. MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROGRAM: Please take an Archdiocesan Program https://adw.org/living-the-faith/marriage-family/marriage-preparation/ or Engaged Encounter or Prepare to Love for a Lifetime: Three to Get Married Marriage Preparation (301-365-0612).
3. DOCUMENTS TO BE FILLED OUT:
If you are getting married at St. Jude’s, all of the pre-marriage documentation must be handled here at St. Jude’s.
a. Baptism records for Catholics and non-Catholic Christians. For Catholics the certificate has to be issued within six months of the date of the wedding. The priest/deacon can assist you in obtaining this record.
b. Record of First Communion and Confirmation for Catholics. The record of Confirmation should be with the newly issued Baptism certificate. If not, it should be obtained separately. If the Catholic has not been confirmed, this should be discussed with the priest/deacon.
c. A marriage license from the state in which you are being married must be obtained. https://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/cct/marriage-license.html.
d. Permission or Dispensation Request.
In the case of a marriage between a Catholic and a non-Catholic, a permission or dispensation request is made which includes a promise made by the Catholic party as follows: “I reaffirm my faith in Jesus Christ, and, with God's help, intend to continue living that faith in the Catholic Church. I promise to do all that I can to share that faith which I have received with our children by having them baptized and reared as Catholics." Obviously, this is a matter that involves the cooperation of the non-Catholic spouse, even though he/she does not have to make the promise.
SPECIAL SITUATIONS
• PREVIOUS MARRIAGE:
It may happen that one or both of the parties to be married have been married before. The Roman Catholic Church recognizes the validity of all marriages unless it can be shown that there were elements lacking in the previous marriage, which would make it possible for the Church to declare that the previous bond is nullified. This applies to previous marriages of both Catholics and non-Catholics. No formal wedding preparations can be made until the previous marriage(s) are declared nullified by the Church.
• PERMISSION TO BE MARRIED IN A PLACE OTHER THAN A CATHOLIC CHURCH
• The proper and appropriate place for the wedding is in a Catholic church. Permission is not given for two Catholics to be married in a place other than a Catholic church, or for a priest or deacon to witness the wedding of a Catholic and baptized non-Catholic in a place other than a Catholic church. A dispensation to have the wedding in a church other than Catholic and by someone other than a Catholic priest or deacon can be obtained if significant circumstances warrant such a dispensation.
• Outdoor weddings and weddings in hotels, restaurants and catering centers are inappropriate for the celebration of a Catholic wedding. The priests/deacons of St. Jude’s will not witness marriages in any other place other than a church.
• PERMISSION TO BE MARRIED BY SOMEONE OTHER THAN A CATHOLIC PRIEST/DEACON:
Circumstances may arise in which it would be necessary for a Catholic and non-Catholic to be married in a place other than a Catholic church and by someone other than a priest or deacon. Special permission can be obtained for such circumstances so that the Catholic can remain in good standing in the Church.
RECEPTION HALLS:
St. Jude’s has two reception halls which can be available for your celebration: Thaddeus Room and Madigan Hall. Please contact the parish office at the Shrine of St. Jude. Ph: (301) 946-8200, or email : [email protected].
Safety & Sacred Concerns
• For the safety of everyone, no objects (such as rice, flowers and bird seed) may be thrown on the premises, either in church or outside.
• No flash photography may be taken during the Rite of Marriage. Videographers and still-photographers may not roam the nave or sanctuary of the church or use additional lighting. Please maintain reverence and respect to you and this sacred ritual.
• No animals, insects or other objects may be released on the premises.
• The “unity candle” is a commercial product that is not included in the Roman Rite marriage ceremony.
• You, as a symbol of the sacrament, are important. The other prime symbol of the sacrament is the wedding rings.
• There are three different rites in the Order for Celebrating Marriage, divided into two different categories: the Rite within a Mass for two Catholics marrying and the Rite of Marriage Outside of Mass for a Catholic marrying a non-Catholic.
Music Notes
• Our Music Director, Summer Xia will assist you in selecting appropriate music for your wedding. Contact Summer by calling the parish office (301-946-8200) or by email at:
[email protected]
• Wedding Hymn (CLICK HERE FOR LIST)
• No outside musicians are allowed unless it is agreed with the music director.
Choosing a Time for the Celebration
• Weddings are normally celebrated on Saturdays.
• Weddings are not celebrated on Good Friday and Holy Saturday. Weddings during Advent and Lent need to be toned down.
• Rehearsals are normally scheduled on Fridays.
Conclusion
We hope that these notes and guidelines have been helpful to you as you consider choosing St. Jude’s Catholic Church for your wedding.